AL-QAEDA HIRING !!!

In a recession, when companies are freezing there recruitments, jobs are few. Students of 2-tier MBA colleges are waiting for companies to come for placements. B-schools have also tighten up their belts, working hard on their students to make them industry-ready (rather I would say interview-ready).
Imagine Al-Qaeda comes to hiring to these schools !



The letter from the placement office would then look like this.

"Dear Students,

We are pleased to inform you that Al-Qaeda would be visiting our campus on 30th February at 9:30 PM. The mass- recruitment process would be held at Underground Library.


Al-Qaeda, is an International Sunni Islamist Movement founded in 1988. Al-Qaeda have attacked civilian and military targets in various countries, the most notable being the September 11 attacks in 2001.Its management philosophy has been described as "centralization of decision and decentralization of execution."Following 9/11 and the launching of the War on Terrorism, it is thought al-Qaeda's leadership has "become geographically isolated", leading to the "emergence of decentralized leadership" of regional groups using the al-Qaeda "brand name."

Students of Marketing, Human Resource and Finance all can apply.
Freshers would be given preference.

The Position offered would be "Assistant Manager"

Salary Package :

4 Lakhs Basic + 5 Lakhs reward for family (yearly) + 5 Lakh Incentives per terrorist act
p.a.. Company will provide accommodation, transport & food / allowance.

Profiles would be according to various following verticals within the organization :

• The Military Committee, responsibility for training operatives, acquiring weapons, and planning attacks.
(Only Marketing, engineers preferred)

• The Money/Business Committee, to run business operations, to provide air tickets and false passports, to pay Al-Qaeda members, and to oversee profit-driven businesses.
(Only Finance)

• The Law Committee to review Islamic law and to decides if particular courses of action conform to the law.
(HR only)

• The Islamic Study/Fatwah Committee to issues religious edicts
(All can apply)

• Media Committee, to ran the now-defunct newspaper Nashrat al Akhbar (Newscast) and handled public relations.
(Only Marketing, Mass Comm. Or advertising background preferred)

• Al Qaeda's As-Sahab, a media production house, to supply its video and audio materials.
(Only Marketing)

Location would be as per students preference among the following countries :
USA, UK, Pakistan, Afghanistan, India, Iraq, Saudi Arab, Indonesia, Spain, Morocco, Tunisia, Turkey, Egypt and Israel

Selection Process :

Physical Test
GD
Psychometric Test
Interview

Those of you who are interested to apply, be a step ahead, and give your names to your Placement Volunteers not later than 6.p.m tomorrow

To know more about the company read "Al-Qaeda's Training Manual".
 
Regards,

XXXXXXXX "